poetry « Candid Karina

{March 8, 2011} On Solitude

One of my favorite poems of all time, by one of the most unorthodox poets of all time, e. e. cummings:

l(a

one

iness

Outside the parentheses: loneliness. Inside the parentheses: a leaf falls.

So much said in so few words.

I first read this poem when I was in Jr. High School and it has stuck with me through all my years since then.

I carry it, like I carry loneliness.

Inside me, tucked away, not at the forefront of my mind, but always there, ready to be pulled out at a moment’s notice.

The image of a leaf falling from an autumn tree brings feelings of crisp air, beautiful colors, crunchy pathways. Almost joyful, comforting thoughts.

And yet, so alone, that leaf, falling to its end.

I am blessed in so many ways. I have a wonderful family, the very best friends, a life filled with people, and joy, and love.

Color and sound.

Yet some days…the leaf falls…and loneliness takes over.

There is little to be done on these days but go with the wind, see where it takes me, land slowly, peacefully.

And know that I am bound to land among other leaves…

{September 11, 2009} Never Forget – EVER

Okay, I haven’t posted anything in a while here (big surprise, seems to be the running theme), but I couldn’t let today go by without a post.

I’ve posted this poem more than once on this here little blog o’ mine, but honestly, I can’t seem to find words more fitting every year than the ones I wrote back in 2001 after the tragedy happened.

So, once again, I’m reposting a poem I wrote back in 2001.

Tuesday Morning

When I awoke
the sun was shining
I could smell the ocean breeze
the birds singing
the world was grand
I started my day with ease

Then the phone rang
“turn on the tv
You won’t believe your eyes”
And then I saw it
the second impact
terror coming from he skies

“What’s going on?”
I asked dumbfounded
“Is the world falling apart?”
As time progressed
I learned much more
The knowledge broke my heart

“Oh my God
There it goes”
Someone said to the crowd
And as it fell
our hopes crumbled
the country sighed out loud

How could this be?
Here , in America?
We’re not supposed to cry
On a Tuesday morning
for no good reason?
People aren’t supposed to die

But things have changed
The world is different
We’ll never again be the same
But how we stand proud
The United States
Much more than just a name

My heart still broken
My eyes, still moist
I still can’t make much sense
But I’ve seen the focus
such prayer, such unity
The world’s love so intense

They shook foundations
They collapsed buildings
They took human lives that day
But we won’t be rattled
Won’t be destroyed
God Bless the USA

I only wish our country stood as united today as we did 8 years ago. It shouldn’t take such tragedy to bring us together as one.

And that’s about as political as I’m going to get here. Hug your loved ones. Smile at a stranger. Pray for our country.

{May 11, 2009} Not so Sweet

I tried to write a blog post several times today, to no avail. The thing is, I’ve been sinking, slowly into a pit of the blahs. I’ve been in a funk all day and try as I might, I haven’t been able to shake it.

So I honestly couldn’t come up with anything to write about that wouldn’t make me seem like a negative Nelly.

And then I remembered that when I am in these funks is exactly when I should write. So I did.

And the poem below is what I came up with. For the record, I’m sharing it with you pretty much unedited, first draft version (which I seldom ever do)…but here it is, it should show you the mood I was in all day:

Seduction

As I walk down the hall,
feeling the sun on the back of my neck
I know better.

As I approach the door,
Leaving behind the warm familiarity
I know I should stop.

It isn’t too late yet
To turn back

I can still take control
Make the choice
Not go in.

I stop in front of the door
Take a deep breath
And sneak a peek behind me.

It’s all there
Where I came from
Where it’s safe, and warm, and bright.

This end of the hall is dark
Cold
Eerie
Alone.

Behind the door…

I should turn around.

But like a moth drawn to a flame
I can’t stop
I place my hand on the doorknob and turn
Push it open

Instantly I feel the cold
Before I’ve even stepped in the room
My breath is stolen from me

Dark thoughts invade my mind
I sigh, almost cry
Feeling the pull
Knowing I should turn
Go back

But I can’t.

I step through
Let it wrap its icy arms around me
Pull me into the gloom
Before closing the door behind me
I look back once again
See the light beginning to fade in the distance.

It’s not too late
I can step back through the door
Walk right back up that hallway
And escape.

For a while, I stand in the threshold
Unable to choose
Unable to decide
Unable to give in completely, but unable to walk away
And then I close the door.

Turn around
Step back up the hallway
Let the sun shine on my face.

With each step I take away from the door
I feel lighter, brighter, safer
I breathe easier.
I wipe the tears from my eyes and realize I shed them
Not out of pain, but out of joy
For my freedom.
For my strength
For this time I was able to walk away.

It’s not always this way
Some days the force in the room is too strong and I give in
Some days I don’t come out for hours
Some days I don’t come out at all

On no day can I predict it
On no day can I understand it

Depression…always lurking, calling, seducing.

Copyright – CandidKarina 2009

{November 6, 2008} Pensieve’s Poetic License #11 – English Sonnet – Masked

Please click HERE for Karina’s Alphabet Soup.

This months PPL theme is “Masked” and the form is an English Sonnet. To be honest, when I saw the theme and form, I wasn’t really sure I’d be playing along. I always hated Shakespearan sonnets because they seemed too damn constricting with the iambic pentameter and all that crap. I think it mostly had to do with the fact that my 9th grade english teacher was evil, and turned me off the form due to her evilness, but there you have it.

Yet, I decided to tackle it anyway, and even managed to stay within the “10 syllable perline” rule. Here’s my entry:

Dark Alley

Though I walk on without trepidation
Head held high, as I look you in the eye
Firm steps, so sure of my destination
Never hesitating as I walk by

Though I stand tall, and with my shoulders squared
My strides determined, not afraid at all
Confidence apparent, never look scared
My very presence anything but small

Though I smile widely, grin ear to ear
Give off warmth, welcome, a friendly hello
Make it seem as if I’ve nothing to fear
Inside is the truth that only I know

You frighten me more than words can express
And just walking by? A major success.

Hmm…for other entries, visit Pensieve’s. Also, today is month TWO of Karina’s Alphabet Soup, I’d love it if you joined in…please click here to find out more and see my entry for the letter “B”.

{October 2, 2008} Karina’s Alphabet Soup #1 – A is for…

Updated: The letter “A” will remain open until October 31st, at which time, you should begin work on the letter “B”, which will go live on November 7th. So you still have time to participate!

See below for links to the participants.

Here we go everyone! The first official helping of Karina’s Alphabet Soup. For the rules, please click HERE. If you are participating, please leave a link to your blog in comments below. I realize I promissed a Mr. Linky but uh…that’s not going to be happening, so just leave your link in comments, and I promisse to incorporate it into this post Friday when I get home from work, then everyone can visit everyone all weekend long.

This week’s letter is the letter A. I’ll tell you what, you would think that as the creator of this meme, I would have thought ahead and been more prepared, wouldn’t you? Ah, but then you would think wrong!

And I spent the last week looking around and trying to find something, ANYTHING that started with the letter A that I wanted to photograph! The closest I even came was with this:

An American Flag…but, still, I wasn’t thrilled with it. And then I remembered something. I took a photo last Friday, actually, I took a bunch of photos last Friday that fit the theme perfectly. Photos of what?

Photos of the audience at the New Kids on the Block concert. (There are more photos and a review here, if you happen to be curious).

And so, that’s where I’m going with this. Here’s my poem:

In Love with a Myth

He sings the love songs
You want to hear
The melody so sweet
His voice is perfect
The words just right
The intention oh so clear
And you could fall in love
All over again

He’s always had that way
About him
The one you can’t resist
It’s in his walk,
The way he moves
He can just draw you in
And you could fall in love
All over again

He looks your way
And reaches in
To the very depths of you
A look so piercing
A crooked smile
Making you weak in the knees
And you could fall in love
All over again

He makes the promises
He tugs at your heart
He looks you in the eye
Your heart is beating
Your palms are sweating
Your head is spinning
Out of control
And you could fall in love
All over again

But
You have heard all of the songs
You’ve seen those moves before
Those eyes have told you lies
He’ll break your heart
And you’ll be left
With nothing but a soundtrack

The show is over…walk away.

Here are the participants:

{September 28, 2008} Karina’s Alphabet Soup

In my travels to some of my favorite blogs, I’ve come across so many fantastic memes. Photo memes, poetry memes, and all sorts of other memes. And I’ve had this idea brewing in my head for a few months now, just waiting for the right time to give it a proper send-off. Now’s the time, I think.

I want to combine an idea I’ve seen, with one of my very own. One of my favorite bloggers in the whole wide world (love you lisa) participates in the A-Z Photo Challenge. I love the idea of doing an “alphabet” photo thing, and I’ve wanted to jump on board, but I’m loathe to start something in the middle of anything, so I’d have to wait for the next go-round, or go it on my own from the start.

I opted for the “go it on my own” version, but then I decided it would be a brilliant idea (because I’m such a genius, let’s face it) if I combined my newfound love of photography with my longtime love of poetry and creative writing. See? Genius!

And so was borne Karina’s Alphabet Soup, a monthly meme allowing you to express your creativity in not just ONE, but TWO very fun ways. Starting with the letter “A” each month we will move through the alphabet, and with camera’s in hand, head out and photograph any and everything we can find to fit that month’s letter. Then, armed with our very own, individual photographic inspiration, we will use our photos to guide us on a writing extravaganza. You can use one photo, and from that, draw your inspiration for a haiku, or use 10 photos and write a short story. Use 5 for a story or 12 for a poem, it really has no limits, knows no bounds. The rules are simple and flexible. The fun is in the ability to stretch first your physical eye, to see the letter of choice all around you, and then your inner eye, to see the magic your muse can create with what you come home with.

Then, on the 1st Friday of each month, I will post my own entry, and a Mr. Linky, so you can post your links back to your own entries on here. That’s it. You will then have a full month to work on next month’s entry.

Let me know if you’re interested, and I’ll set up a mailing list so that I can send out reminders one week prior to the posting date.

Oh yes, and I know there are some of you grumbling because you either A) don’t take photos or B) don’t write poetry/fiction, but would still like to play along. FINE, this is how flexible I am with the rules, if you don’t take photos, take a gander over at flickr or some other photo hosting site and do a search for photos based on just the LETTER assigned, find a photo or ten that inspire(s) you, and write from those (just be sure to credit the photo(s) appropriately). If you don’t write, but want to take on the photo assignment portion of the project, do so, and then just give us a few words about where the photo(s) took place, what they inspire in you, or whatever else looking at those photos make you feel.

See? EASY…

Oh, right, also, if you could grab the badge and include in your posts and post it on your sidebar (pretty please?), taht would be great!

I realize I need to figure out how to work out the html code so you can do it the easy way, so if anyone out there can help me with that, I would appreciate it….. THANKS!

The rules, in bullet form:

· Get letter assignment; leave comment that you’re participating, preferably with email addy, so I can send you reminder.
· Take photo(s) of things beginning with said letter
· Write something creative using photo(s) as inspiration
· Return here on 4th Monday of month
· Link back using Mr. Linky

Got it? Good. Let’s get to it, you assignment this month is the letter “A”…get to it. We’ll see you here on the October 3rd. Yes, you only get one week for the letter A..get cracking!!

Go forth, be creative.

{September 25, 2008} Pensieve’s Poetic License #10- Autumn Cinquain

This month’s theme for PPL is Autumn, and the form is a Cinquain. You can get all the details at Pensieve’s by clicking the button above. I just realized this morning it was TODAY so I quickly threw the following two together…one’s much more “pleasant” than the other…

The first:

Death
barren, empty
Falling, dropping, flying
The leaves make their exit

Ending

And the nicer one:

Colors
Oranges, reds
Changing, coloring, enhancing
God paints us a beautiful picture
Autumn

Thanks for dropping in, and before you go, won’t you PLEASE read this post, I’m starting a new meme myself – Poetry AND Photography all rolled into one and I’d LOVE LOVE LOVE it if you’d help me launch it. Pretty please??

{September 11, 2008} Still Remember

Seven Years. SEVEN YEARS. And still, the numbers 9/11 bring pause to most of us. Again the conversations can be heard here and there “Do you remember where you were when it happened?” “I can’t believe it’s been seven years” “When will the memorial be finished?” So many questions, so many emotions, and still, it doesn’t make sense. I don’t think it ever will.

I’m taking a moment today (or two or three) to send out a prayer to the universe that we somehow learn to live in peace with one another. To pray for the souls of those lost that day, and for the families they left behind. To pray for change, for love, for forgiveness.

And as it seems to be tradition, I wrote this poem the week it all happened seven years ago, and post it here again today.