31 Day Fitness Challenge – Make that the 12 day challenge…

And here we are, February 2nd. So, Amber’s 31 Day Fitness Challenge has come to an end. I obviously don’t need to tell you that I didn’t complete this challenge, as my last post on this very topic already made that plenty obvious.

That being said, I’d like to focus on the positives here.

I kicked off the year with a fitness plan in mind. I worked out EVERY DAY for nearly 2 weeks.

I was in the gym with all the “New Year’s Resolution” babies, and I didn’t kill anyone.

I discovered a step-aerobics class I really enjoy.

I lost 2 lbs.

And yesterday, February 1st, I kicked off my next fitness challenge. I’m calling this one “Work out whenever I can, try to keep a routine, don’t beat myself up when I miss a day here and there”.

Yep…overall, I think I did pretty well.

Amber, thanks for hosting the challenge, and bring on the next one…I’m ready!

31 Day Fitness Challenge – Uh…yeah, that one

A funny thing happened on the way to the gym…

Okay, not really…see, the thing is, I signed up with my buddy Amber to do this great 31 Day Fitness Challenge. The challenge was to work out every day in January. And I was determined to do it. After all, working out is something I already do pretty regularly, and I needed to step it up, because I’ve hit a plateau with my weight loss.

So it made sense, in January I would work out every single day, and that would totally kick my butt in gear.

I was excited to do this. I even worked out on January 1st, and lets be honest, that’s a day of rest if there ever is one. But I worked out.

And then…at about the third week of the month…my motivation broke up with me. It didn’t really give me any warning, it just up and left me. One day it was there, and the next I came home to find it had packed up all its belongings and left.

Gone.

Truth be told, it goes a little deeper than that. I tend to suffer from the winter blues. You know, that dreadful depression some people succumb to in the winter time? The lack of sunshine, vitamin D, really gets to me right around mid-January.

It usually sneaks up on me and then WHAM knocks me completely off-step.

So, I had a week in there when I seriously just wanted to sit on my couch and mope. So I did just that.

But then I snapped out of it, and decided enough is enough. I needed to get back to work. This week, this past Monday I was going to get back on track.

And then…I got sick.

I’ve been battling the flu all week, and while I’m definitely on the mend now, there was no way this body was going to do any sort of working out this week. It was all I could do to walk a straight line and not keel over and pass out.

Anyway, long story short, I have FAILED the 31 Day Fitness Challenge. Sorry Amber, I couldn’t keep up. But I am SO PROUD of you for how well you’ve been doing! Keep it up!

And I’m not out. I may have failed the challenge, but I’m still on task. So, I’m going to keep on posting updates right along with you, this month, and next…and however long you’d like to keep it going.

So, nothing new to report this week, but I’ll be back last week with an update! And don’t forget to stop by Amber’s and tell her what a great job she’s doing.

31 Day Fitness Challenge – Week 2

Last week I told you that I joined my buddy Amber in her challenge to work out every single day in January.

Last week I also told you I was crazy, right? Right.

So, how did I do this week?

Do I really have to tell you? Cus…I didn’t do so well.

Alright, we’re all friends here, so I guess I can be honest with you.

Friday – I was seriously tired because I am way too old to be going to concerts on “school” nights…so after work I managed an itty bitty tiny little ab work out. That’s about all that happened there.

Saturday – Oh Saturday…I decluttered my kitchen. Yes, I know, I ran it by Amber and we both agreed this didn’t really qualify as exercise, but…I’m short, and getting to the top of my cabinets requires much climbing on and off of chairs. Getting to the back of my cabinets required much bending and reaching…there were squats, abs, stretches, and I was dancing around the house the whole time…so, whatever, I’m calling it a work out. (weak, I know).

Sunday – I’m not even going to lie. I didn’t work out on Sunday. At all. Exercise? Fail.

Monday – Back on track, I went to the gym and did an intense step aerobics class, called, appropriately enough, Steptensity. Whoo boy was that a class!

Tuesday – I punished myself a little bit more with my weekly kickboxing class. I LOVE that class.

Wednesday – I couldn’t do an intense workout because my calves were KILLING me from my two previous work outs, so I just did a 15 minute ab work out.

Thursday – well, I was actually feeling pretty crappy (sniffly, headache, etc.)…so I did not workout last night. Yep…not so good.

And there you have it…Week 2.

I could dwell on the fact that it wasn’t my greatest week in terms of commitment or dedication, but I’m not going to.

I’m going to focus on the fact that I have now found TWO great classes that I know I will be taking regularly, and am hoping to find one more at least. I’m going to focus on the fact that we’re only 2 weeks into the new year, and I’m active, I’m trying, and determined and focused.

So, even if I’m not sticking to this challenge 100%, I’m still glad I’m doing it, I’m not quiting and I’m grateful to Amber for it, because it’s working.

Now, anybody have a food challenge for me? Because I’ve been doing better, but I really need to get focused on the eating healthy thing…

31 Day Fitness Challenge

For some crazy reason I decided it would be a good idea to join Amber on her mission to exercise EVERY DAY in January.

Seriously? Because I didn’t have enough on my plate for the month as it is? And yet, it seemed like a good idea at the time. After all, I’d decided that once the holidays were over, it was really time I got serious again about getting in shape, eating healthier, working out regularly. And what better way to do it than to jump in head first? Commit to doing it EVERY SINGLE DAY for a month?

Right…crazy.

So, here we are, a week later, and it’s time for me to report to you how I’ve done so far.

I won’t lie, it started off rough. After all, January 1st was a Friday, and is typically a day of leisure for me. Up late the night before, no work…we start things on Mondays, right? After a lazy morning I spent the afternoon at my mom’s house, and didn’t get home until after 7pm. At that point, I put on my pj’s, poured myself a glass of wine, and plopped down on my couch, remote control in hand. And then it hit me…I hadn’t worked out yet. Well, I had signed up for this challenge, and I couldn’t very well fail on the VERY FIRST day, could I? So, I actually got up, and went to work out. I did a short 10 minute ab work-out. Not much, but I did it. Day 1, check.

Day 2 was most definitely a pajama day. I woke up to snow, and went to sleep to snow. Seeing as I’m not a fan of winter, snow days when I don’t have to work, are pajama days if I can help it. But I decided I might as well take advantage of my “snowed in” condition, and take down the Christmas decorations. And that, my friends was my work out for the day. It may not seem like much, but I live in a condo, and once the decoration were down, they needed to be stored away. In my attic storage. Three flights of stairs up. With a big box of Christmas tree parts. (once). Then two big (HUGE, HEAVY) bags of decorations (twice). And one more time with a HUGE heavy bin of yet more decorations (three times). In between these there was also a trek outside to clean the snow off my car, and move it so the plow guy could clean our parking lot. Okay, yeah, not much, but I broke a serious sweat and my arms hurt the next day from all that lifting…so, day 2? Check.

Day 3 was Sunday and errand day. I did quite a bit of running around, some shopping, etc. Then I came home and did another ab work-out, this time a 20 minute one. Not much (yeah, yeah, I know, I didn’t say how much I’d work out each day, just that I would), but day 3, Check. P.S. my abs were killing me the next 2 days.

Day 4, Monday, and I opted for an hour of Dance Dance Revolution at home after work. Trust you me when I tell you this is one HELL of a cardio work-out. Day 4, CHECK.

Day 5, Tuesday, is kickboxing day at the gym. CHECK.

Day 6, Wednesday, was a rough day. I was depressed, moody, and just not feeling all that great. I decided to take a brisk walk at lunch…short, maybe 15 minutes. Then after work, completely unmotivated, I forced myself to do a few crunches. I won’t lie…this day could almost be chalked up to a “FAIL”, but I’m going to give myself a pass, just this one time, because at least I did a little something. So…um…check?

Day 7, Thursday. Another tough day, but this one because my schedule was full. A full day of work, and then a concert that evening. If you know me at all, then you know I am so NOT a morning person. Working out in the AM is pretty much an impossibility, as I have a hard enough time being coordinated enough not to walk into walls. And yet, I got up a bit earlier, and did a 10 minute ab work out before work. Go me! So…Check.

There you have it, my first week. I’ve started somewhat slow, and had some days that were pretty weak, but I’m trying here…and I had two high impact cardio days, so I’m pleased for those two. I’m hoping this next week will have a few more of those, and I’m looking into more classes at my gym to fill that quota.

Just a quick P.S., I’ve done really well with food this week. I’m back to the plan of eating every 3 hours, meals and snacks, and I’ve made a decision to completely cut out frozen dinners/lunches/breakfasts. Those tend to make up my daily diet A LOT when I’m not watching what I eat, because they are quick and easy, but I realize how loaded with sodium they are, and how completely unhealthy, so I’ve cut them out. I’m also back to adding a nice hearty helping of vegetables to all my dinners, which only helps to fill me up, and eat less of everything else. So far, so good. I only had one off meal, dinner at mom’s on Wednesday, and even then, I didn’t over do it.

How are you doing?

Pain is Sweet

As I write this blog post, I sit at my desk with very sore legs. In fact, every half hour or so I need to get up and walk around my office building, because the muscles in my calves seem to be atrophying, and it KILLS if I sit too long.

Why the pain? Because yesterday, my dear readers, yours truly went for a run.

WAIT, let’s see that again, because I need to make sure I really wrote those words…

I, Candid Karina, went for a run.

Yep, really happened.

If you know me at all, then you know what a shocker that is. Anyone who knows me has heard me say on more than one occasion (okay fine EVERY SINGLE TIME anyone mentions going running) that I don’t run. If I’m running, then you best believe someone is chasing me. Because I? I. Don’t. Run.

Except, yesterday? I went for a run. And no, nobody was chasing me. So, what in the world happened?

It all started innocently enough. Having gotten an “early release” from work, due to being in an all day training that finished early, I was going to head to the gym. But we got a break in the gloomy rainy weather we’ve been having, and when I left work it was sunny and gorgeous out. So I decided to go for a walk instead.

I’ve been walking the “hills” in my neighborhood for a few weeks now, and I really enjoy this walk. The ups and downs of the hills give me a real workout, and it never feels like “just a stroll”. What started as a real challenge, however, has now become an easy 45 minute walk. By the end, I’m not longer out of breath, I’m not really “feeling the burn”.

So yesterday, halfway into my walk I decided I should try running it. And so…I did.

Truth be told, at this point running for me means stopping quite frequently to walk slowly while I gasp for air (okay, not gasp, but there is certainly some very heavy breathing involved). But, regardless, I ran.

And you know what? I liked it.

I KNOW! I can’t believe it either.

I’m not entirely sure who this person is that has taken over my body, but I have to admit, I’m growing fond of her, and I think she can stay.

Over the last year I’ve dropped 25 lbs., and I’ve found myself growing increasingly interested in health and fitness. I’m eating better, I’m eating less, and I’m genuinely interested in maintaining a healthy diet long term. I’m also working out regularly, and not just enjoying it, but finding myself wanting to push harder and harder each time. I’m not just satisfied with going to the gym and doing “enough” to “not gain weight”. I want to work harder, I want to do more, I want to reach new levels of fitness I have never reached before.

Here I am, in my 30’s, and I want to become one of those “athletic” people. It’s such an interesting phenomenon for me. The last time I did any sort of running that didn’t involve trying to catch a train, I was in the 6th grade and on the track team. By junior high school, I’d decided that I was NOT going to be the girl that went out for sports teams, I was much more interested in books and make-up. I never played any sports after that, and my stints at the gym were either because I wanted to look half-way decent in a bathing suit, or because I was watching the boys intramural basketball teams play in college.

And now? I’m thinking running might be something I might actually want to take up. I’m looking forward to hiking trips with a friend of mine, and I’m even considering taking up golf. WHAT? No, I’ll deny it if you tell anyone I said so.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go take a walk around the office, my legs are atrophying again. OH the pain…so sweet!

Bit of Randomness

Hello my dear readers, how are you all today? It is Monday night as I type this, and usually that would mean that I’d be writing up a Bachelor recap. However, tonight’s episode is the “reality television” must-have recap episode prior to the finale. In Bachelor terms, this means a reunion of the girls who have been sent home for a “tell all”. So, yes, I’m watching, but not much to recap here, so come on back next week for the recap of the finale.

In the meantime, I thought I’d take this opportunity to do a bit of housecleaning and talk to all of you a bit. It’s been a little while since I’ve posted anything but Bachelor or American Idol recaps, and I feel like we just haven’t “talked” in so long. Don’t you?

As life will happen, things get busy and blogging seems to get left behind a bit. Still, I love this blogging community and don’t think I’ll ever stop blogging, because I’d miss you all too much. I’d miss the writing too much as well.

My decision at the beginning of this year was to stop trying so hard to be in control of everything, and just blog as I can…so yes, it means I’m posting less often, but hopefully it just means I’m being more honest with myself and writing only what I feel like writing, be it “fluff” about television shows, or more personal content.

SO, anyway, with that being said, let’s talk about the personal stuff.

Dating: Yeah…not really much to report on this front. I took a big step a few weeks ago with the whole “asking GQ out on a date” thing, but he never followed through, so nothing ever happened there. And Coach? He’s still adorable, and I totally still have a crush on him, but it’s just eye candy at the gym. He’s too young for me, and besides, it really is just harmless flirting between the two of us. At the moment, there are no other prospects, but don’t count me out just yet, I’m just getting started.

Speaking of the gym, let’s talk about that and my weight loss challenge. Because, I don’t think I’ve quite reported back yet to tell you that I DID IT. Did what? I reached my goal. For a few weeks in a row now I’ve been able to step on a scale and have it read under 125lbs. Since my goal is to maintain between 120 and 125, I’m there! I can’t even begin to tell you how absolutely exciting and amazing this trip has been for me. I have lost over 25 pounds since August 27, 2008. When I began this journey, I honestly did not think I’d make it here. I thought maybe I’d lose 10 pounds or so, and hey, that would be good, right? But to have gotten back to my college body? It’s a dream, and I’m so thrilled to have done it. Now, of course, the challenge is to maintain it. So, even though I’ve made it, it’s not over yet, in fact, this is just the beginning, isn’t it? The beginning of my new lifestyle. So, although I’m back to eating a little less “strictly”, I’m still (and forever) going to watch what I eat, and I’m definitely still hitting the gym, and making that a routine part of life. Right now I’m on a 26 day mission to work on my abs. Why 26 days?

WELL, I’m going on a cruise at the end of March, and I have 26 days to get this new “lighter” body to also be a little more toned, so that I can wear a bikini. This will be the first time since I was probably 12 years old that I’ll be in a bikini, so I am on a serious mission to get some more definition in my abs. I’m not expecting miracles, just a little more tone. I’ll let you know how that all works out.

Oh, you want to know about the cruise? My friend Traveller and I are taking a Caribbean cruise to San Juan, Puerto Rico, the Bahamas, St. Thomas and Turks and Caicos. I am insanely excited to be taking this trip, and can’t wait to be lounging poolside on a cruise ship. It’s been 7 years since the last time I took a cruise, and it was honestly one of my favorite vacations ever, so i can’t wait. Of course, I will take lots of pictures, and lots of notes, so that I can come back and tell you all about it and share it all.

What else has been going on? Oh, I’m loving my new car. I’ve decided I’m definitely a “car” girl, not an “SUV” girl. Not much more to say about that except that yes, I do love it.

Everything else in life is good. Work is busier than normal, but this is a good thing, I like busy. My friends, my family, the church and the youth group keep me busy and happy and satisfied.

And then there’s my writing. I’m still not writing at the level that I wanted to be at this point but I’m working toward it. And on that note, I have a new post up at Inspired Bliss today, and I’d love you to go check it out, if you would?

There you have it, a bit of what’s going on in the life of Candid Karina. What’s going on with you?

Only The Good Friday – GO RED

Today is Friday, time for Good Cheer! Everyone loves a Friday right? Shelly has made them even better by starting this movement of blogging about only good things on Fridays, and I’ve joined her for quite a few weeks now.

This week, I have many good things to share (especially since I wasn’t able to post last week).

So, let’s start with the personal stuff. My brand new car!

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was going to begin looking for a new car, and I’m happy to report that last Friday I picked up my new toy.

Ain’t she pretty? It’s a brand new 2009 Subaru Legacy, and my very first brand new car ever. It is my 5th car since I started driving, and the first one that doesn’t come to me with a litany of problems created by its former owner. I’m very much enjoying the “new car smell” each time I get into it too.

I also realized upon picking this car up that I am definitely a “car” girl, not an SUV girl. I never really “fit” the Rav4, and don’t even miss it a little bit. I did, however, love driving my Grand Am which I had before that…so, yes, folks, I’m a car girl. And this car? OH, how I love this car!

I also just had a remote starter installed in my new baby, and oh, how spoiled I am now…

Moving onto more good stuff, last week I also booked a cruise. My friend Traveler and I will be sailing the Caribbean at the end of March, and I can hardly stand it, I’m so excited. I went on my first cruise almost 7 years ago, and thought it was the best way to vacation ever, so I am beyond excited for this trip.

I am also on a mission. With my recent weight loss, I’ve set goals along the way, and am happy to say that so far, I’ve managed to reach each one successfully. Well folks, I’m setting a new goal. I plan on doing something for this cruise that I have not done since I was probably 12 or 13 years old. What is it, you ask? Wear a bikini. I will not wear a one piece bathing suit on this cruise. I’ve worked hard to lose the weight, and now need to step it up in the gym to get in the shape required to get into a bikini, but damn it, I’m going to do it. This is a good thing, because it motivates me to really get to the gym and get in shape.

Speaking of which, last night I was able to do a 45 minute, 5 mile run on the elliptical machine. Considering that at the start of my exercise program I was doing maybe a 30 minute mile (and nearly passing out from the exertion) I’m pretty damn proud of myself.

Not just because of the fact that I’m getting into shape, but because I’m taking control of my health. Which segues quite nicely into my final good thought for the day.

Are you wearing RED today? Because today is “National Go Red Day”, a day dedicated to raise awareness for good heart health, specifically for women. I’m wearing my red, and I’m doing my part, telling you to go here learn more about heart disease (the number one killer of women in this country), and educate yourself, so you can better yourself.

Stay healthy, and have a good…FABULOUS Friday! (and go visit Shelley for more Goodness).

Wanna be a Mobster?

Okay folks, it’s the New Year and that means we’re all heading to the gym and eating healthy. This week.

Everyone has these New Year’s Resolutions and for a whole lot of people that means the good old “lose weight, eat healthy, go to the gym” thing. Right? Right.

Well, as you all know, last year I really did get serious about finally getting my body back. I started Jenny Craig with my mom on August 27th, and as of today, I’ve lost a little over 23 lbs. As my goal was initial 20,and then I added an additional 5, that means I’m less than 2 lbs. away from my goal. I’m playing with throwing another 5 lbs out there, mostly so I can have wiggle room to eat and not have to worry as much, but we’ll just see how that goes. Since I plan on hitting the gym and toning and maybe adding some muscle, I may leave well enough alone.

That being said, maintenance is gong to be a big thing for me. Never again do I want to see that 25 lbs, therefore, this will be a lifelong lifestyle change for me. Also, my mother still has some weight to lose, and in the process of my own weight loss, I’ve inspired a few friends to do their own.

I will say right here that I loved doing Jenny Craig, however, the food was a bit on the pricey side (although delicious) and therefore I had to stop going last month. Mom also cannot afford to keep going, so we’ve decided to start our own “support group” if you will. A few of my friends, and a few of mom’s friends are joining us.

Our first meeting is tomorrow. We’ll get together, do some meal planning, weigh-ins, share ideas and recipes and other things. Mostly we’ll motivate each other to stay and/or get in shape. I’m calling these meetings “Mind over Body”…or “Mob” meetings.

And I want you to join us virtually as well. What do you think? Are you in? Here’s the plan, every Wednesday I’ll post a Mobster post, and you check in with your results, your plan for the week, your challenges and wins for the prior week, etc. We motivate ourselves, each other, and possibly others as well. You can post your own post on your very own blog, and just link back here, or you can just post in comments, if you want to.

Let me know if you’re in, and I’ll make sure I have links to your blogs on Wednesday. I’m also working on a button for the posts…hopefully I’ll have it by Wednesday.

So? Wanna be a Mobster?

A Weighty Issue

When I began into this whole “getting my body and health back” plan, I really didn’t know that I would be capable of the success I’ve had.

I thought I’d lose a few pounds, feel a little better about myself, but then give up, as I’ve always seemed to do in the past.

When I set my initial goal weight, I really saw it more as a “wish” than as a “goal”.

But now, here I am, three months later, and only about 2 lbs. away from that goal weight. Not only that, but I’ve become so focused and determined, that I added an additional five pounds to that goal weight (or should I say subtracted), so that I now plan to go even lower.

I feel great, I look great, and there’s no stopping me now.

But then, last week, I went on vacation.

Now, I don’t know about you, but a vacation to me is a sure fire way to come home with an extra 5 to 10 lbs. EASILY.

So, I made a plan. I was going to walk a lot, and choose the healthier options on all the menus, all week long. I couldn’t make any promisses about my alcohol intake, however. But the food, the food I was going to watch.

Because my typical “Weigh-in” day is on Wednesday, and I was leaving for Florida on Tuesday, I stepped on a scale at home before I left, and figured I’d lost about 1.3 lbs in the week after my last weigh in, and the time I left for vacation.

So, now I just had to try and not completely blow it.

Then I arrived in Florida, and entered full vacation mode. And made a conscious decision to throw caution to the wind, and eat whatever my little heart desired. Still trying to maintain a healthy “ideal”, I hit a grocery store and stocked up on fruits, baby carrots, yogurt and 100 calorie snack packs for the beach.

But other than that, I broke all the rules. I ate pizza, I ate cheeseburgers, I ate pasta alfredo, I even ate fried foods, which I don’t even eat when I’m NOT on a diet. And you know what? I enjoyed EVERY BITE.

We won’t discuss the alcohol intake. Let’s just say, there was plenty.

I also did walk. A LOT. Every day I walked to and from the beach, around the beach, and everywhere you can imagine in the Ft. Lauderdale area.

I returned home knowing I’d definitely put on weight. I had no doubts in my mind about it and I was fearing that walk of shame to and from the scale at my weigh in tonight.

Lo and behold, the scale smiled at me tonight. I’d dropped .2 lbs from my last weigh in.

This means I did put on a little over a pound while in Florida. Really? I’ll take it.

So now, I’m back on track, and even more full of motivation, because if I could manage to go on vacation and not completely derail myself? Well, there’s no stopping me now, is there?

Battle of The Bulge – Keep Keepin’ On

So, the Battle of the Bulge Challenge was for the month of October. But, since I had started my own Battle in August, and plan on continuing it for a few months more…for me it was just a way to stay accountable during that month. It is now over, and our lovely hostess reached her goal (Yay Amber), and posted all about it here.

I had my weigh in last night, which would round out my “October Results”. So, although this will be the last “Battle of the Bulge” post, it will not be my last “weight loss” post, because I’m going to keep going until I reach my goal.

AND IN FACT, I have changed my goal. I have now officially added 5 pounds to my weight loss goal, which means that I have a little further to go now, but MAN am I going to look HOT when I get there. lol

So, here we go with my results for the week. This week I lost yet another 1.6 lbs, bringing my total weight loss to 16.6 lbs. I am not afraid to tell you that the numbers on my scale right now I haven’t seen since I was in my mid 20′s, and they make me very happy. I am only 2.8 lbs away from my initial goal. But I am now officially 7.8 lbs away from my FINAL goal. And the thing is, now I know I can do it!

As to what I did this past week, food wise, I stuck with my 5 days of Jenny Meals, and 2 days of my own meals. On the days of my own meals I’m trying to stick to the basics of lots of veggies, eating every three hours, healthy snacks, and healthy portion sizes.

Exercise wise, this week was my first real week of incorporating exercise into the plan. I joined a gym last Wednesday and began very elementary cardio work-outs on Friday. I went to the gym Friday, Monday and Wednesday. I also did a bit of dancing Friday night (though that was quite possibly cancelled out by all the wine I drank that night) and went for an almost 2 mile walk with Mom on Thursday.

The plan for this coming week remains the same…to eat the same way, and to try to fit at least 3 days of the gym, though with my schedule this coming week, that might be a bit of a stretch. Still, we’ll do what we can, right?

The challenge will be next week, because yours truly will be vacationing in sunny Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and I have no intention of marring my vacation by stressing over food and exercise. I will try to pick the healthier options wherever we go out to eat, but I can guarantee you there will be martinis involved throughout much of the week. I will also try to exercise some, but there will lost of lounging around in the sun to compensate for that as well.

We’ll see how I do with “real life” in the mix.

For now, I have to tell you something…I’m thrilled with the changes I’ve seen in my body, and as a former “skinny girl” who was always made to feel badly about how thin I was, it’s actually been kind of nice to begin getting those comments again. However, I have actually had those feelings of “guilt” or “shame” about looking good creep back in. How strange is that? Now, when someone says to me “you’re looking great, man you’ve lost a lot of weight” I find myself making excuses or explaining myself, as in “well, I’ve worked really hard” or “Well, I still haven’t gotten there”. Funny right?

Who would have thought I’d be more self-conscious about being thin than fat? Guess the skinny girl never left, she was just enjoying the break from all the attention.

Regardless, I’m so ready to let her come back out to play.