Candid Karina

I had a strange dream the other night.

Strange, not because there were creepy creatures of freakish activities like flying over a purple river in a hybrid of a motorcycle and a Pegasus (What? Like you’ve never had that dream?)

No, it was strange mostly because of how ordinary it was. And also, not.

I dreamt I was running, which, in and of itself, is a strange phenomenon. Because I? Am so NOT a runner. Well, at least I wasn’t until last year, and now, suddenly, I find myself not only running and enjoying it, but dreaming about it.

But that wasn’t even the strange and yet ordinary part.

See, I wasn’t running alone. I was running with my boyfriend. I don’t remember much else about the dream, just that we were running, and chatting, and laughing along the way.

Except, the thing is…I don’t have a boyfriend.

So, therein lies the strangeness of the dream. That in dreaming about a boyfriend, I would dream of such an ordinary activity. I didn’t dream of an elaborate date on a horse drawn carriage through central park, with a candlelit dinner by moonlight. I didn’t dream one of “those” dreams that you don’t elaborate on in the morning, you simply smile to yourself and think “yeah, that was a good dream” (what? Like you’ve never had one of THOSE either? Please!)

And right there you have the truth of my situation. I’m not one of those girls who want the fantasy romance that will sweep me off my feet.

If I had a boyfriend, I would want to go running with him. I would want him to show me how to properly use the weight machines at the gym.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d want him to be the type of guy who would help me figure out what ingredients to pick up at the grocery store so we could invent some healthy version of our favorite meals.

We would cook together, eat together and then argue over whose turn it was to do the dishes.

But I don’t.

So tonight, I’ll go on that run alone anyway, I’ll create my own healthy recipe, and I guess it is my turn to do the dishes again.

But hey, you never know who I’ll be running with in my dreams tonight…


In case you missed, I explain the “If I Had a Boyfriend” series here.

I attended a “Gala” Fundraising event. It was a very prom like evening in that everyone was all decked out, dressed up to the nines. The party was a great time, and it was fun to have an excuse to actually wear a bridesmaid dress again.

I KNOW! I really did though, and you know what? It was perfect. The dress, a strapless, corset back, poufy skirt, black and white number was exactly the right little number to wear for this event.

This dress:

And yes, I was having a lovely time (and no, i’m not in love with this photo AT ALL but it was the only one that showed the whole dress).

But here’s the thing, this dress is what those in the know in the fashion world call a “relationship dress”.

What is a relationship dress, you ask? Let me remind you again that I said “corset back”. As in, lace up the back, in that intricate manner that requires not only looping through the various holes, but also tightening as you go along, not unlike laces on a pair of sneakers. But you know…at the back. That area you can’t reach on your own.

THIS back:

Also, if you’ve ever watched any Jane Austen movies, or Gone with the Wind, you probably remember a scene or two where the damsel is holding onto a bedpost as her maid servant laces up her corset. A task that not only requires precision, but also, to be brutally honest, force.

So yeah, a relationship dress, because in today’s society, where most of us don’t have our very own maid servants (or as they are called inHollywood today, personal stylists), you need to be in a relationship in order to get INTO the dress. It is not possible to do it on your own.

And I? I am not in a relationship.

If I had a boyfriend, my brother’s fiancé wouldn’t have had to come over early to help me get into my dress, before we headed out for the evening.

If I had a boyfriend, getting out of that same dress that night, especially after the handful of espresso martinis I enjoyed that evening, would probably have been a lot more “fun” and a lot less “funny”.

Let it be noted, however, that I did not need help undressing, and managed just fine on my own.

That being said…no more relationship dresses for me until I have either A) a boyfriend or B) a personal stylist.

It’s no longer a secret (to me as well as to others) that I’m ready to meet a guy. I’ve been single for a long time, and although being single certainly has had its advantages, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am indeed ready for a relationship again.

The prospects are, however, few and far between, and I find myself at a crossroads of a sort. Finally having let down my guard enough to realize the reasons I want a partner in life, to allow those feelings in, but unable to share them with anyone just yet.

But the beauty of this situation is that I am beginning to be able to visualize the next chapter in my life. I can now see how things will be, why it will be good for me, how it will be different, what it will offer me.

In much the way of “The Secret”, I’m allowing myself to project into the world what it is that I want, and expecting the universe to deliver. At some point…whenever that should happen to be…are you listening universe?

Michael Buble says it well in his new song “Wherever You Are, Whenever It’s Right, You’ll come out of nowhere and into my life, and I know that we can be so amazing, and baby your love is gonna change me, and now I can see every possibility…I just haven’t met you yet”.

In the meantime, I allow myself to do something I haven’t done in a long long time. I indulge in the silly fantasies of the things I look forward to sharing with my future guy. And because I’m a blogger, you, my dear readers, get to indulge with me.

Welcome to my new blog series “If I had a boyfriend”. There’s no anticipated schedule for these posts, they’ll be as random as my realizations that certain things are meant to be done as part of a couple.

These will not be “woe is me, life as a single girl sucks” whine fests, they will be fun, silly, and sometimes serious reflections of life as a single woman ready for a change.

Stay tuned.

et cetera