Wordy Wednesday

Disclaimer time: For the most part, I’ve encountered nothing but great folks in the blogosphere, and am constantly amazed with the kindness, generosity and just plain niceness of the people I’ve “met”…but there are always exceptions to the rule….this post is about those exceptions. Nobody reading this should take it personally, as it is not meant as an attack on anyone I know, or anyone who reads my blog, however, if it hits close to home…well, then maybe you should look within, and ask yourself why. End of disclaimer.

So, here’s the thing, I’ve had something on my mind for a bit now, and I think it’s time I get it off my chest. Ready? Okay (said like a cheerleader, clapping her hands)…

What is it about the internet that causes so many folks to lose sight of their manners? Is it the security of anonimity, or is it that in real life they’re actually that rude as well?

I ask this because something happened recently in an internet setting that I was witness too. It did not affect me directly, but as an indirect observer I was shocked at the crass manner it was handled by an individual against another (or group of others). Without getting into many details, because I really don’t want to put anyone on the spot or call anyone out, plus, what I’m talking about is not necessarily anything most (if any) of you have anything to do with, I’ll just tell you that it had nothing to do with those “spam” or anonymous comments that are rampant throughout the blogosphere. This was an entirely different situation. The point is, after I read the exchange, I couldn’t help but wonder if this particular individual would actually use that tone of voice (the implied tone of voice in the written message) and those exact words were this a face to face situation. If so, then I have sympathy for those who know and deal with this individual on a daily basis, and I feel a bit for the person as well, because how sad to go through life so unaware of the cloud of gloom they create. But if not, (and I want to believe this to be closer to the truth), then what is it about the internet that allowed “the ugly” if you will, to come out of an otherwise rational being?

The thing is, with this particular individual, this is not the first time I’ve had a negative reaction to their “written” word. There have been several occasions where I have been taken back and thought to myself “wow, that was rude”, so perhaps, it is the person, and not the context.

Still, this isn’t about one individual, they were just the catalyst for my line of questioning. See, in this day and age of technology, when we do spend a lot of our time emailing, text messaging, and blogging our thoughts to one another, something has been lost in the art of etiquette and manners.

Examples:

If I send you an email in which I am telling you about my weekend, and I ask a few questions, or share a few anecdotes, and you respond with an email that ignores everything I told you, and proceeds to tell me only about your weekend…something is lost there, isn’t it? I always make it a point to address everything you’ve said in an email to me FIRST, before I move on to the portion of my email where I tell you about me. This is how a conversation flows, right?

If I send out an invitation to a party, via email, and ask that you RSVP, and then receive confirmation that you have indeed read my email, but don’t receive a response from you until you show up at my party that night…well, that’s just inappropriate, isn’t it?

If we are having a discussion through written means, and something I say doesn’t sit quite right with you, knowing the dangers of misinterpretation in the written word, do you get mad and write me off, or do you question what I truly meant? In person, you would have asked me “well, what the hell does that mean?” wouldn’t you? Why is it any different in writing?

If we are text flirting (ah yes, you knew I’d come to this at some point) and you ask if I want to see you this weekend (already breaking some unwritten rule, because who asks a person out on a date via text anyway?) and I tell you I have plans already for this weekend…do you text me back (at the very least) with alternate plans, or do you fall off the face of the earth, sulking in your corner? (FYI, yes, we are speaking of Lawboy here, no, I have not heard from him since the week of New Year’s, and no, I don’t really care, I’m just using this as an example of the downfall of etiquette).

There are so many other ways in which I have witnessed a disregard for the basic decency of treating your fellow man and woman, these are just a few examples. The question is…why? How is it that we have allowed basic manners to fall by the wayside simply because we are at our keyboards, instead of sitting at a dinner table? And how can we fix it? Because technology is only getting to get grander, and infiltrate our lives more and more each day. So, how do we keep ourselves from becoming a generation of humans who show no respect for each other?

I don’t have the answers, I only know what I can personally do as my part…what do you think?

Everybody’s making changes – The Lawboy Chronicles

Let me start off by saying that I’ve made an executive decision, and have decided to retire this blog from the Wordless Wednesday meme. At least for now. I’m considering possibly picking it up at the Creative Karina blog instead, but for this week, I’ll just be skipping it.

Instead, I give you the latest edition of the LawBoy Chronicles. For those unfamiliar with LawBoy, you can catch up here, here, here and here. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Okay, so, you’ve got the story now, right? So, from that point in October I received maybe two or three further text messages from him, a “Happy Thanksgiving”, a “Merry Christmas” and the random “Hi, how are you”. I replied to the holiday greetings with holiday greedings, I did not reply to the other messages. In all honesty, just couldn’t strike up the motivation to do so. I’d pretty much decided that I was over it.

Fast forward to Sunday, December 30th around 7PM. I get the random “Hi, how are you”, followed by “Any plans for New Year’s?”. I’m in the process of getting ready to head out with my cousins to the movies, so I reply with a quick “Fine, will just be chillin’ with family on New Year’s, you?”

He replies: “That’s good, I don’t know yet. Will be making some changes in 2008”. Hmm…where have we heard that before? July wasn’t it?

In the meantime I’m driving to the movies, and buying tickets, and choosing seats, so I don’t reply for a while and receive another message from him: “When can I see you?”

Right. Well, the movie is about to start, so I don’t reply, shut off my phone and focus on not jumping out of my skin while watching said movie. (I Am Legend, for the record, movie review to follow later this week).

After the movie, while driving home, my cousin PM and I have a small discussion about Lawboy’s last text. Here’s where I stand on it; I feel that just because you “THINK” you will “be making some changes in 2008” doesn’t change a damn thing as far as I’m concerned. The way I’m looking at it, you can see me when you have gone and made those changes, taken a step back and made sure you’re right with yourself. THEN, and only then, should you be thinking about stepping to me. This isn’t going to be a “let me see her, see if there’s anything there, and then if there is I can break things off, and if there isn’t, well, then I don’t have to” situation. This isn’t and shouldn’t be about me, after all, right? Not for him anyway.

So, once I get home I send him a text: “I don’t know, when can you see me?” Thinking it’ll start up the conversation as to what his situation is shaping up to be, or whatever. Not so much. Instead I get: “What are you doing next Saturday?”

That’s not going to work for me folks. For starters, this “text flirting” has been cute and all, but if you want to ask me out on a date, at least have the courtesy to pick up the phone and use your VOICE to do it. And make your changes first, because me? I’m rapidly losing any inkling of interest, or curiosity, or whatever it was that had intrigued me in the beginning. Losing or…yeah, it may already be lost.

So I replied that I am busy next weekend, because I am. I don’t know what I’m doing yet, but I’m sure something will come up, and I’m sure whatever it is will be far more interesting than being LawBoy’s “inbetween” chick.

I’m ambivelent as to whether there will be future LawBoy updates. Anything is possible, and could actually still redeem himself, and then again, maybe not. Only time will tell. For the record, once I told him I was busy, I didn’t hear back from him again.

Ah, good times, good times.

Fun Monday – Two guys walk into a bar

This week’s Fun Monday, the last of 2007 is being hosted by Peter. The assignment was as follows:

I want you to tell us your favorite joke and/or show usyour favorite cartoon, don’t worry if there is someduplication that just means more than one personfound it funny.So come on and regale us with your best joke and/orcartoon, remember its New Years Eve and we feellike a good laugh, before 2008 comes along and does its thing on us.
PS, I’ve left myself too much time to think about this….. we all havemore than one favorite, Right!! hit us with your best selection!!!!!

Easy enough, right? However, I just cleaned out my e-mail inboxes about a week ago, and deleted all the joke emails I’d been keeping. Great timing on my part, huh? That and the fact that with the holiday, and visiting relatives, and all kinds of projects I wanted to work on (but have yet to get to) before the New Year…I’ve got nothing.

So, I’ll leave you with this…a joke from my real life…Lawboy has begun texting me again, saying he’s planning on making some changes in 2008 and wants to see me. Funny right? See, I’ve got jokes! (I’ll do a more indepth LawBoy catch up post in the new year).

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone, and be sure to visit Lisa next week for the first Fun Monday of 2008.

Non-post – No follow-up Friday, No Update on Lawboy

I’m calling this a NON Post because this week there will be no follow up Friday. This is mostly because I replied to most comments in the comment sections themselves. Therefore, if you posted a comment, check there, I have responded to you.

This was mostly due to the fact that it was a very slow comment week in here. I guess I’m not the only one having a hard time blog-hopping lately. Well, what can you do? At least I was able to respond to all your comments, and I’m glad about that.

This is also a non-post because I have a non-update on the Lawboy situation. For those who missed the latest turn of events, you can read that here….I’ll wait.

Okay, back?

So, the news is that there is no news. He never did call, text or email about a plan to get together. This was actually what I expected to happen, therefore, there was no real sense of disappointment and I’m not really upset not to hear from him. I think I would have been more shocked if he had actually followed through. And although I debated on contacting him, saying something along the lines of “trying to plan my weekend here, what’s up”, in the end, I decided against it. Actually, I didn’t so much decide as I just didn’t do it. I’ve been busy all week, and just kind of went about my week not really giving it much thought. Then, as it came time to make plans for my weekend, I decided it was in my best interested to not do any chasing of any sort in this situation. As I’ve said before, I told LawBoy the ball was in his court. He needs to sort out his life, and decide what he wants to do. In the meantime, I’m continuing to go about my own life, not really focusing much on whether or not he sorts his out. Does this latest turn of events make me write him off completely? Not necessarily, but he’s never really been written in either, so, I’m pretty ambivalent about the whole thing.

I still get a kick out of the attention, but have no other expectations, I like it that way.

So, I’ve gone ahead and made my plans for my weekend, and it’ll be another busy weekend for me, but there will be no “non-date” to report back on. Sorry ladies! 😉

I’ll try to do an actual post (as this was a non-post) later today, but I have a huge staff meeting this afternoon that I’m prepping for, so I can’t promise anything.

The Return of LawBoy – Now with Audio?

Alternate title for this post: “Do I have a date next week?”

Intrigued yet? It’s really not that exciting, but it is an update on the LawBoy situation.

When we last left off, here, the texts had continued, but as far as I knew, the girlfriend was still in the picture. In the last few months there have been a few additional texts, but nothing revelatory or overly exciting. For the most part, LawBoy texts at some inappropriate hour on a Weekend night, and I either ignore the text until the next day, or I return the text and we engage in a short “how are you” “good how are you” type of text convo. Yeah, real thrilling. This is why I haven’t really updated you on the events…there hasn’t been a reason to do so.

So, our last text conversation took place two, maybe three weekends ago. He’d texted a random “hello” on Friday night at about 1:00AM, and I happened to be just getting in, so I texted back. We had a short text conversation and then I called it a night. The following evening, around 1:30 AM I receive yet another text. I had just finished watching a movie, so I replied to that effect. This time, however, I didn’t really engage in the conversation much, and told him I was heading off to bed, then told him “Try texting me in daylight sometime”. He laughed, agreed, and that was that. That was also the last I’d heard from him. Guess daylight wasn’t to his liking…didn’t really think much of it.

Fast forward to tonight. I went out to a musical (Forever Plaid, I’ll do a post on it later) with mom tonight. After the show we decided to grab a late dinner. So, mom and I are just about to pay our bill and my cell phone rings. 11:30, Saturday night…I laugh and say to mom “guess who?” and show her my phone, where LawBoy’s name is on the caller I.D. I don’t answer, and stick the phone back in my purse.

AND THEN it hits me…

You see it coming don’t you?

WAIT…was that an actual phone call as opposed to a text message? It was wasn’t it? It was.

Wow…LawBoy hasn’t actually “called” me in at least a year, if not two. And not only did he call, but he actually left me a voice mail.

So, I listen to the voice mail: “Hey, it’s LawBoy, I just decided to go out tonight, for the first time in a long time, and thought I’d check if you’re out and about…give me a call.”

For some reason, LawBoy has convinced himself that I “go out” in Boston still. I’ve told him otherwise, but he often refers to my being “out in Town” in our texts. Whatever.

Anyway, I decide to call him back, because now I’m sort of curious. Remember though, at this point, I’m in my car, and mom is sitting next to me. So I call…Phone rings, LawBoy answers immediately:

LB: Hey! (very happy to answer phone)
Me: Hey stranger.
LB: So, are you out?
Me: sort of, I just had a late dinner with my mom, we went to catch a show, and are now heading home.
LB: OH, well, I tried. I decided I need to go out tonight, and was hoping you were around. I’m trying to find someone’s party to crash.
Me: I don’t party anymore, LB.
LB: Yeah, I know, I don’t much either, late dinners and shows are good fun too though. More my speed nowadays too.
Some more chatter I can’t remember…then…
Me: well, LB, it was nice to hear your voice. I was like ‘wow, was that an actual voice mail as opposed to a phone call? Does LB actually know how to use a telephone?’
LB: Laughing…”that’s wrong, K, that’s wrong”.
Me: I’m just saying…
LB: No, I’ve been so busy lately with work…there’s so much happening. We need to get together, there’s so much I want to tell you.
(And here Candid Karina’s heart skips JUST a beat…but then)
LB: “We’ve got investors, employees”
(so, he’s talking about work, right?)
Me: yeah, we should get together, catch up.

I say this because I always say stuff like this, and he says “yeah, we should” or something of the like, and then that’s that. But tonight he says:

LB: well, what’s next weekend look like for you, you have any plans?
Me: I can’t think of anything right now, no.
LB: okay, then pencil me in, let’s do something
Me: Okay, email me during the week, let’s make plans.
LB: you got it.

And we say our goodbyes.

SO…now the questions:

1. Did they break up?
2. Is he making a move?
3. Why the phone call after all this time of only texts?
4. Why the plan to make plans after all this time of avoiding the whole subject of getting together?
5. Did they break-up?
6. Does he really want to get together to tell me about work?
7. Will he actually follow through and email during the week to make plans?
8. Do I have a date next week?
9. Did they break up?
10. Am I really this giddy about him? Oh boy…

Inquiring minds want to know.

But right now I’m tired, I’ve been up since 7AM…I’m going to bed.

LawBoy says Aloha

A quick update on the LawBoy situation for those who are curious; there is not much to report, for the most part, all has been quiet in the text messaging world.

Since the fated evening of text-flirting, there have only been a handful of “hey what’s up” type messages exchanged between us. A week ago Friday in the midst of these pleasantries, he informed me he was leaving for a trip to Hawaii on Sunday. I did not question with whom or for what purpose, mostly because it really is none of my business, but also because one can assume that Hawaii is the sort of place where for the most part, one does not go to with “friends” to hang out, or for business…especially if one is a resident of the East Coast. We do the Caribbean for “friendly getaways”. Therefore, my assumption was that LawBoy was going to Hawaii with his girlfriend, whom he is supposedly so unhappy with. Whatever. Maybe the trip was planned before he’d realized the end of the relationship is near. Maybe it’s a last ditch effort to salvage the romance. Maybe he has no plans on breaking off this relationship at all. Truly, whatever…I’m plotting my entry into the dating world right now, and can’t be bothered to decipher the code.

So, if he left for Hawaii last Sunday, one would assume he would be gone until AT LEAST this past Friday, if not Saturday. Again, one does not travel to Hawaii from the East Coast for a shorter period of time than a week…it is a LONG trip for any shorter amount of time.

And yet…Saturday at 5PM the little text messaging envelope shows up on my phone. Yep, LawBoy wanted to know what I was up to. He couldn’t have been back on the East Coast for more than 24 hours. Interesting.

I did reply later on that night, informing him I was heading out to dinner with some friends, but did not receive a reply from him.

Not holding my breath over here, but I am constantly intrigued with the thought process behind the random texts…

Ah well, nothing new to report, still a mystery to me. Also a mystery: figuring out how a woman in her early 30’s, who is completely done with clubs and never interested in bars, lives and works in the suburbs, and doesn’t have any friends with “single” friends, is going to enter the dating world once again. Yeah…I don’t know either.

Text Flirting (Dating in the Age of Technology)

At long last…the story you’ve all been anxiously awaiting. After all that build up, I sure hope it doesn’t disappoint.

Okay, so when we last left off, here, LawBoy had sent me yet another random text message, after ignoring and/or avoiding actual conversations via e-mail or telephone, and I was just a bit too fed up with the randomness to reply.

As was discussed in the comments to my last post about LawBoy, I had suspicions that he was playing the hot/cold game either because of lack of interest in anything but friendship, or more likely, because he was a boy, therefore, majored in mind games and was just being stupid. But, there was also the suspicion in my mind that he might not be “available” and was therefore, playing, but not able to actually “play”.

Whatever the reasoning behind the mind games, I wasn’t all that interested in deciphering them, mind games being only one of the many, MANY reasons I have remained single as long as I have.

So, it was with this mindset to not really think about it, that I entered my mini-vacation last weekend. In all honesty, I’d kind of forgotten about him and his text message the previous week.

And yet, as Foxy and I returned from our night out at Grease, I received yet another random “How are you” text message. It was 10:56 p.m. Girlish laughter and giggles ensued as I shared the text message with Foxy, and we headed out to meet up with Ms. B. in her hotel room, and hang out with her for a while. I replied with a “Good, In NYC this weekend”. LawBoy, by the way, is originally from “the Bronx”, and promptly replied with a message to the tune of “Should have invited me, that’s my hood”.

The next few hours turned into a giggle fest with the girls and I laughing every time my phone would chirp with a new message, and we would try to figure out the best way to respond. Wonder if he knew our conversation was a collective effort? Well, to be honest, neither Foxy nor Ms. B, were much help, as most of their responses were along the lines of “I’m so glad I don’t have to date anymore”, “I can’t help you there, I wouldn’t know what to say”. Yeah, thanks girls!

Anyway, to make matters easier for myself, I’m digging out my cell phone and giving you the play-by-play of our text conversation (color coded for your reading convenience, and with editorial input in these handy dandy parentheses where necessary).

So, we’re at “Should have invited me” right?

K: I’m in Queens for a wedding. Went to see Grease tonight.
LB: Did you need a date? (more giggles and laughter from the girls, but not really knowing how to respond, I didn’t for a bit).
LB: I haven’t had this much fun in a long time. Wish you were here. (Random yet again…)
K: Huh, Fun how? (genuinely confused, not really sure what he’s talking about, beginning to suspect LB has had a few beverages by this point).
LB: At a spot with my boy, dancing my ass off. Have not been hit on like this in years.

UM…okay…and why do I want to know this? The girls and I decide this is a rude and unnecessary show of “studliness” on his part, which does not deserve a response, so I give him none and continue hanging out with the girls. Eventually, it is getting late, and the bride-to-be needs some beauty sleep, so Foxy and I leave her and head back to our room. It is about 1:20 at this point, so I decide to say good night:

K:Well, we’re calling it a night, have fun.
LB: Holla at me (right, cuz suddenly he’s so gangsta).

And at this point, I’m thinking it’s all done, and I’ll get some sleep. And then…chirp:

LB: You too (huh? Me too what? Foxy and I deduce that either a. he was replying to someone else – in which case HOW DARE HE 😉 or b. he is still delay replying to my “have fun” message).

K: Me too, what?

LB: Having fun, wish u were here. (yep, he’s drunk, and me? Well, Foxy is falling asleep, and I’m wide awake now)

K: Well, You do still owe me a drink

LB: How you want it?

K: I don’t know, you make it happen (so tired of making all the effort here).

LB: I like body shots (WHOA…what? Definitely drunk, this is sort of out of character for him)

K: Slow down killer, one drink does not get you that privilege.

LB: I should not be saying this to you. I apologize. (back to character…)

K: Don’t sweat it, I’m not easily offended. Figuring u been drinking a bit, haha (really, he HAS to be drunk).

LB: My judgment is not clouded. Real talk: we would not be having this conversation if there was not interest on both sides. There may be circumstances that prevent it, but there is interest and you know it. (Well then! But…hmm…circumstances huh? I’m suspecting…)
K: Not saying there isn’t, remember I suggested drinks. Call me intrigued for now.

LB: Yeah, OK, I understand, can’t say interest. Won’t say interest. I know, Life is what it is. There will come a time when we confront all of this one way or another. (Now we’re getting philosophical…Life is like a box of chocolates…some times you get a nut…oh, sorry, I digress).

K: For the record, I’m all about confronting and seeing what’s what, but I don’t know your story currently, You tell me. (Let’s get to the bottom of this, shall we? Drumroll ladies:)

LB: Unhappy in a situation and have made my unhappiness known. The kids…that are not mine…and I don’t have any…are the best part of the situation 90 percent of the time. I love the kids. (And therein lies the truth!)

Little background here…this person he is with he has been with for at least 4 years now. He was with her when I left my last job. She has 3 kids of her own, and he’s been playing “daddy” to them all this time. I know he’s crazy about the kids. I also know, from previous conversations with him as long ago as 3 years ago, that he hasn’t been happy in this relationship for a VERY long time. Why in the world he’s stayed in a relationship he’s not happy in, is beyond me…but then, we’ve all done this at one time or another, haven’t we? Also, I get the kid thing. I was with someone once who had a 1 year old that I was MADLY in love with and to this day, I miss that kid more than I miss that ex, and wonder quite often how the kid is doing, what he looks like, what kind of little man he grew up to be…he’d be 5 now…so I get the kid thing, it sucks! Back to the texting:

K: That’s tough, been there. So, ball’s in your court with me. I have no situation, meantime, we’re friends.

LB: Ur a keeper.
K: Tell somebody. 😉
LB: Understood. Love the white boots.
LB: Our situation may change real soon

Okay, to clarify a few things…in the timing of text messages, the above were all coming and going at about the same time…so…Ur a keeper and Understood, both reply to the “ball’s in your court/we’re friends” comment. The white boots? Again with the random. And yet, after my initial “What the hell is he talking about?” I realized that he was referring to a particular pair of white go-go boots I owned when we worked together (and no, I did not wear these boots to work). We had gone to a Hawaiian themed party in the dead of winter (we attended separately, I went with my friends, he went with his, but it was a party for a mutual co-worker’s birthday), and I was wearing a Hawaiian top, white skirt and white go-go boots (seriously, I could rock the white boots then). I remember him commenting on the boots the following Monday at work. The “situation change” comment I replied to below:

K: Even if not, friends have drinks. No longer have the boots. (WHAT? I’m single, I can TOO still flirt and want to have drinks, and friends CAN TOO have drinks, leave me alone).

LB: You still working with that girl in the Big Brother Big Sister program? I know she meant the world to you. (and again with the random. Yet, maybe not, as maybe he’s trying to make me see how important the kids are to him? Or maybe to let me know he still remembers this about me? Or, maybe he’s just random).

K: Yeah, she’s 14 now, love her.

LB: Wow, high school soon. You thought I forgot about the boots.

K: Yeah, surprised you remember. Didn’t think you really still thought of me much (again, WHAT? It’s late, and he’s bringing it up, I’m just trying to decipher how deep this goes, that’s all).

LB: There is a lot you don’t know (well then!)

K: Tell me sometime but I’d rather hear than read (fingers tired, too much texting)

LB: Ok, no problem

K: Having too much fun talking, but should be sleeping (really, fingers tired, too much texting)

LB: You know you don’t want to go to sleep. (BRAT)

K: True, tired of texting, are you bold enough to call? (Oh, you know you wanted me to say it).

LB: I’m tired but that sounds like a challenge.

And then my phone rings (well, vibrates, at this point, Foxy is WAY in sleepyland, and I don’t exactly want to wake her up, so I’ve shut off the ringer hours ago). That part of the conversation is not recorded on my phone like the texts are, and I was seriously half asleep, so I can’t really tell you word for word what happened…but it was something along the lines of him saying he was really too tired to talk, but couldn’t pass up the challenge, me saying I was tired too, and trying to whisper not to wake Foxy up, and then him telling me he’d call me right back, and hanging up. And then…a few minutes later, a text:

LB: Call you in the am. (chicken shit…)

K: Chickened out. 😉 Nite.

LB: Can’t talk, too sleepy we will get on this tomorrow. (too sleepy to talk, not too sleepy to type? Right! CHICKEN…)

At this point, it was 2:58AM…I said good night and shut off my phone.

There was a text message the following night about whether I was having fun at the wedding, he was working (out with clients or some such). That was the last of our communication since.

Now, before you jump to warn me not to get involved with a man in a relationship, let me spare you the trouble. I have exactly ZERO intentions of getting involved with him while he is still in this relationship.

A. I’m not that girl, I’ve never wanted to be the “other woman” and have no intentions of becoming her.
B. OOOH Lord, I’ve dealt with enough baby-momma drama to know better than to step into a situation with kids before it’s been WELL sorted out. Even if they are not technically his kids, I’m SO not going there.

Also, this is the “why buy the cow” argument moms have…As my mom said to me when I told her this story “You start seeing him and he has NO reason to break off his relationship.” She is right of course, but this is probably the LEAST of my reasons. In all honesty, as much as I may joke that “hey, I’m single, I don’t have any commitments” and can therefore do what I want…I just wouldn’t feel right aiding someone in cheating. If he truly is unhappy, then he will eventually break it off, and then at that time, we’ll see what’s what. Besides, I actually don’t think he has any intentions of cheating. He was pretty straightforward about “circumstances preventing”, etc. and I think he really just needed an outlet Friday night, and that is why text messaging is so safe, as opposed to an actual phone call. PLUS, I’m not even really sure there is something there to pursue. I’ve known him a long time, and we’ve always been friends, but I’ve never really thought of him in a romantic way until this whole texting scenario. I have no idea if there is sufficient chemistry there, I haven’t seen him in years. I get it now that he’s always had a thing for me, but I honestly never thought of him that way. That’s not to say it’s not a possibility, but there is also the possibility that there’s nothing.

Here’s the thing, its been really good for my ego to know that the reason I’ve been getting these random texts from him for the last year or so, has been because when the chips are down in his relationship, I’m the one he’s thinking about…I know it sounds terrible, but damn if it doesn’t make me feel desirable! I’m the one that got away? SWEET!

That said, I’m just now deciding to hit the dreaded dating scene again, so the timing for the ego boost couldn’t have been more perfect. As I told him, the ball is now in his court, and in the meantime, I will be going about my business.

Now, can anyone think of a good reason for me to call the Meineke guy who changed the oil and the tires on my car last week? Because he was really hot!

Thirteen Things about Friday Night in NYC As I have promised to recount my weekend in New York City, today’s TT is going to take a slightly different format, as I tell you about Friday night and the Broadway Production of Grease. Before I launch into my TT, however, I just want to send out my prayers to the families and friends of anyone involved in the horrendous bridge collapse in the Twin Cities. My thoughts are with you today! Now, on with TT: 1. I arrived at the hotel in Queens at about the same time as Foxy, we met in the lobby, checked into our room and proceeded to gab non-stop for about two hours. As mentioned, there was no “introductory” awkwardness…we are old friends, we just happen to have never been in each other’s physical presence (curious?). 2. After getting ready, we took a subway into Manhattan, walked around Times Square for a bit, and then headed to the Theatre District to locate the theatre where Grease was playing. Found a nice Italian Restaurant called Scarlatto, conveniently located next door to the theatre. 3. We enjoyed a dinner of Spinach Raviolli, stuffed with goat cheese, sundried tomatos, and I forget what else, served with Portabella mushrooms. YUM. OH, also had an appetizer of mussels…delicious. OH, and my FIRST Martini in about 4 months…a chocolate martini of course. Let me tell you, the only good thing about swearing off martinis for my diet was how good it made this one taste! HEAVEN! 4. After dinner, we headed into the theatre, where we found our seats to be, quite literally, in the LAST ROW at the very top of the theatre. Thankfully, the Brooks Atkinson Theatre is a fairly small venue, therefore, we still had a great view of the stage.5. The show itself was fantastic! For those who don’t watch reality television (I readily admit I’m addicted to most reality tv), recently there was a show titled “Grease, You’re the One That I Want”, in which the goal was to find the next Danny and Sandy to play those roles in a Broadway production. Both Foxy and I watched this show, and were happy to learn we’d be in NYC in time to catch the production, so we bought tickets. 6. Max Crumm and Laura Osnes, the winners of the competition did a wonderful job. Laura has an amazing voice, and blew me away with her singing. She was excellent as the innocent new girl Sandy. Max was quite a character on the reality show, but more of a “class clown” figure, so even though he was one of my favorites, I wasn’t sure how he’d pull off the swagger that John Travolta brought to Danny in the film. I’m happy to report that he certainly “studded” up. He was perfect in the role. The supporting cast was all fantastic as well. Jenny Powers who played Rizzo had a fantastic voice, as did Ryan P. Binder who played Doody (he actually blew me away with his voice) and Lindsay Mendez, who as Jan had a pretty fantastic duet with Laura. Kristen Wyatt, as Frenchy was hilarious and fit the character perfectly. 7. The story line itself was changed a bit from the movie, but my understanding is that it was truer to the original script written for stage production. There were some of the favorite songs from the movie, but also other original songs. The writing was funny and witty, and although the sequence of certain events confused and even slightly disturbed such a Grease die-hard fan as me, overall it was a fun production. 8. It turns out opening weekend for this show isn’t even until August 19th, so what we were seeing was one of the preview shows. I honestly have no idea what that even means, but am really excited that I got to be a part of Max and Laura’s debut on Broadway. I have a feeling both of their careers will take off after this, and it’s kind of cool to be able to say I saw them when. 9. I bought a Grease t-shirt at the show. I’m not one to ever buy merchandise at shows or concerts, I find them to be overpriced and not even of the greatest quality, but this was Grease…I had to do it. 10. Once the show ended we strolled through Times Square for a bit, but both of our feet were killing us, we were not dressed to walk around, so we took the subway back to the hotel. 11. Upon arriving at our room, we had a message from Ms. B., she was also staying at the hotel that night, was back from her rehearsal dinner and was lonely and bored. She invited us to come hang out in her room with her for a while, which we did. 12. We brought a bottle of wine to the room, and all had a drink and gabbed for a few hours more. I updated the girls on the non-existing LawBoy situation, and we giggled like school girls as it just so happened he chose that evening to text message me, pretty much non-stop for the remainder of the evening. Every time my phone would shrill with a new text message, we would laugh, and then break into a chorus of “How do we respond??” It was a team effort at that point. 13. The bride-to-be then needed to get some sleep, so we headed back to our room around 1AM, at which point Foxy fell asleep, and I continued text messaging until about 3:30 in the morning. And yes, I promise details of the actual text conversations, as well as a post about the fantastic wedding on Saturday…stay tuned.

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

SERIOUSLY? – Lets talk about men…

Um…actually…we’re going to be calling them BOYS until they prove themselves otherwise.

For those who don’t know yet (and really, how could you not, I shout it from the rooftops most days), I’m single and damn comfortable and happy with my “singledom”. However, as I’ve stated in here recently, after being single for the better part of four years (hmmm, quite possibly longer), I’ve decided to enter the dating world once again. I’ve figured what the heck, let’s give this love thing a chance one more time. Besides, my life isn’t nearly busy and crazy enough, I need to add some more drama and turbulance to it, so why not add men back into it…um, I mean boys…

So, it is with this mind set, and my newly slimmed down (and still slimming) and toned up (and still toning) body, and an attitude ready for adventure that I’ve begun smiling at complete strangers. And it is also with this new perspective that I decided to make a semi-move on someome that had been lingering in the background for several months now.

This is the particular boy I want to talk to you all about today. We’ll call him LawBoy. I have known LawBoy for almost 8 years now, he was a lawyer at a lawfirm where I was a paralegal in one of my past jobs, before coming to this job. When I started that job I had a boyfriend, and I can’t remember if LawBoy had a girlfriend or not, but we became friends. He’s a good guy, funny, smart and was a good person to bounce stuff (such as “Do you think this jerk is cheating on me?”) off of. Because we worked together, there was never any intention on my part of “hooking up”, it would have been weird, I sort of worked “for him” on certain cases, and I’m SO not into that whole “dating the boss” thing. He wasn’t my boss, but he was my superior of sorts. Anyway, I’m getting off track here. Point is, we never dated, and never really showed an interest in doing so. We were friendly, in and outside of work, we hung out, but never in a romantic way. When I left that job, we stayed in touch, and have kept in touch off and on for the last 4 years. He had a pretty serious girlfriend when I left that job, and to be honest, I’ve never asked whether or not they’ve broken up. However, conversations have led me to believe that he is now single again. For the record, he has not asked my relationship status of late either.

So, now you have the background. Let’s move to the present situation.

Within the last year or so, he started randomly text messaging me. Random notes, such as “what’s up” or “what are you up to tonight?” or “How are things”…just random. At this point, we’d sort of lost touch a bit, weren’t emailing at all, and hadn’t had a telephone conversation in at least a full year. I thought the messages to be random, but hey, we’ve always been cool, so I didn’t think much of it. I would text back with the same sort of messages. The random part of it would be that I’d get a message on a Saturday night, for example, that would say “What’s up?” and I’d reply “not much, heading out, you?” and he’d reply “yeah, heading out too”…and then I’d not hear from him for another month or two. Random, right?

As I was not in the mindset to deal with men…uh, boys…I never really gave it much thought. Then, a few weeks ago, I sent him a random text message. Truth be told, I was bored silly one afternoon, and sent random text messages to just about everyone I know…he just happened to be one of them. I’m pretty sure my message was something along the lines of “What’s up, stranger?”. It was his reply which started off the whole next part of this story: “Not much, I would like to see you”.

Now, I know I’ve been out of the dating scene for a while, and I also know that we are just friends, and friends can want to see each other…but hey, I sort of giggled a bit when I read that. Hmm…could there be a spark there, a bit of an interest? Mind you my friends had been telling me for months (every time I’d get a text message from him) that he was into me, so the fuel for my suspicion was there. Well, I decided to roll with it. Some messages back and forth and I suggested we do drinks some night. He agreed that it sounded fun…and then proceeded to fall off the face of the earth for another week or so.

A few more text messages later, and I decided that texting is a pain in the arse, and asked for his new e-mail address…figuring conversation and plans would go much smoother that way.

So, I send an e-mail, he reads it (I love read receipts) and proceeds to take 3 days to respond. And when he does respond, it is with a short few words, which really, he could have just texted me. By now, I’m getting annoyed, and being fully reminded why I don’t date. But, I’m resillient, and still, this is a friend who I wouldn’t mind catching up with, so I try ONE MORE TIME, and send another e-mail, this one more detailed, asking what he’s been up to, how life is, how’s work, etc. and tell him a bit about my summer, what’s going on, etc. He reads it.

2 weeks later, no response yet. And I decide that whatever it was that made me giggle, is SO gone. I hate mind games.

And then I get a text message from him on Sunday “How’re you doing? You out and about?”

SERIOUSLY?

For the record, I don’t even really care anyway, I’ve lost interest…I’m too old and too happy being single to have to be the one doing the chasing. And no, I haven’t replied to his text yet, I’m not really sure what the hell I’m supposed to say now. I’m really just curious on how it is that others will interpret this situation…call it a study in human behavior…which is what I’m pretty sure my venture into dating this go-round is going to completely turn into.

So…discuss…what’s his deal ladies? (and gents, your input is certainly welcome as well)